


Invisible Man

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Being a Stubborn Jerk, Early Season 5 AU So It's Not Exactly My Fault Dean's a Jerk, M/M, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-08-19 20:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8224277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Lucifer's out there, and Dean doesn't trust Sam.  Sam knows Dean's trying, but they're not working well together at all.  Sure, Dean let him come back to the hunt, but their first hunt Dean kept trying to sideline him, even bench him, and he wouldn't listen to Sam.Maybe it would be better for everyone if Sam could just find a way to make himself disappear.





	1. Chapter 1

This was all Dean’s fault. Sam had known Dean didn’t trust him and had let him come back more to keep an eye on him, keep him from giving in to Lucifer, than because he actually wanted Sam around again. Still, it kind of hurt that Sam had been literally invisible for nearly half a day, and Dean hadn’t even started to wonder where the hell he was.

There had been a hunt, a witch, and at times, it had almost felt like the brothers were a real team again. Sam had said he thought the witch had gotten off a spell just at the end, though, and Dean had blown him off, told him to go away and let him celebrate on his own. It hadn’t taken Sam long to figure out what happened.

“Dammit, Sam. The fuck are you?” he heard Dean mutter. Well, at least Dean had noticed finally. It was pointless to answer, Dean wouldn’t hear him, but he answered anyway. As expected, Dean didn’t hear. “You better answer your phone.”

Sam did answer the phone. Not that Dean heard him. “Sam, this is really childish of you,” Dean complained as he hung up. Sam bristled at that – childish of him? “Alright, fine. Have it your way." He hit a few buttons on his phone. "Cas? Need your help.”

“Cas can’t help with this,” Sam pointed out uselessly. “Sigils.” To be honest, he wasn’t all that sure Cas would have helped if he could.

Cas arrived, and Sam got a laugh at the look on Dean’s face. It had been over a year since they met the angel, and Dean still hadn’t gotten used to the sudden arrival, still hadn’t learned to listen for the rush of wind and the subtle sound of wings folding up. “Dean. Where’s Sam?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t have to call you,” Dean snapped. “Haven’t seen him since we finished a hunt earlier today. Tried calling him, the call went through but he didn’t say anything.”

“That is concerning,” Castiel said, looking around. “I don’t know what help I can be, though. I can’t find him for you because of the sigil. I suppose I could try calling him, although I don’t know that he would talk to me either.”

That threw Sam, but he got out his phone and waited. It certainly couldn’t hurt anything to try. He answered as soon as he felt the phone buzz. “Castiel? I’m here in the room. There was a witch, and she got a curse off before we could…”

“Sam? Sam, if you can hear me, please pray to me. Let me know if you’re in trouble.”

Evidently Cas couldn’t hear him talk. But he had a point, prayer was worth a try. They'd been avoiding it because Cas wasn't sure if Heaven would be able to track it or not. Sam focused his attention. “Cas? I’m right here in the room with you and Dean. I’m fine, but invisible and inaudible.”

The visible relief that washed over Castiel surprised Sam. “Sam! What happened?”

Dean shot Cas a weird look. “Cas, are you praying to Sam? Because he can’t hear you.” Cas didn’t respond aside from shooting a glare his way.

“There was a witch. She got a spell off right before we ganked her, Dean didn’t believe me when I told him about it. Just told me to go away. Then I went invisible.” Sam watched in surprise as Castiel’s glare intensified.

Then Castiel came toward him, reaching out a hand. Sam felt the hand land on his shoulder. “Sam is right here, Dean. Under a witch’s curse that he tried to warn you about, that you dismissed.”

“Well, great. How do we break the curse?” Dean said, and Sam rolled his eyes. Of course Dean wouldn’t admit to having made a mistake in not listening to Sam.

Castiel shook his head. “If the curse lasted past the witch’s death, I don’t think it will be that simple. I suspect this is one Sam will have to break on his own.” He turned his head to focus his gaze on Sam, with surprisingly good aim. “It would help if you could remember details, try to figure out the exact nature. Clearly there’s more to it than simple invisibility, since you were able to communicate with Dean afterwards for one conversation.”

“I’ll try, Castiel. Although… between the sigil and the curse, as long as I don’t do something stupid like pray to him, doesn’t this help protect me from Lucifer?”

“It might,” Castiel acknowledged. “On the other hand, it leaves you isolated and vulnerable. This curse will not keep Lucifer out of your dreams, which is how he found you in Oklahoma, I understand. If I am the only person you can talk to, that doesn’t give you much help.”

“Yeah, you have more important things to do,” Sam said. “Thanks for helping, letting Dean know what’s going on.”

Castiel looked surprised. “I do not have more important things to do, Sam. What could possibly be more important to me?”

“Look, this is probably a vacation for Dean,” Sam said. “He doesn’t have to worry about Lucifer getting to me, but he doesn’t have to deal with me either. And you’ve got your search for God…”

“God can wait while we figure this out. I’m a poor choice for it, but if I’m the only person you can both trust and communicate with, then I will do what I can to help you solve this.”

Sam couldn’t help the surprise. “Well, then… thanks, Castiel. I know this has to be annoying for you, and I’m sorry.”

Castiel looked at him strangely. “We should investigate the witch’s home. Perhaps we could find a spellbook or some indication of what spells she would have known well enough to get off in an emergency that could do this.”

“Good idea,” Dean said. “Let’s go.”

“Sam and I will meet you there,” Castiel said. “It will be far easier for me to fly Sam there than for you to attempt to guess whether he’s secured in the Impala.”

“Yeah.” Dean took off, and Castiel looked back to Sam. Sam braced himself for the sensation of flight.


	2. Waiting for Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instead of searching, Castiel talks to Sam. The two clear the air about some drastic misconceptions.

When they arrived, Castiel seemed to be in no hurry to begin searching. “Sam, you seem to think Dean is happy about this. He called me in.”

“Yeah, because he was worried I was running off to Lucifer,” Sam said. “If it weren’t for that, he’d be just as happy to cut me loose.”

“And what about Bobby?”

Sam shrugged, even knowing Castiel wouldn't see it. “I don’t know. Maybe. He’s been pretty decent about everything, when he’s not possessed, but he’s Bobby. Dean’s his favorite, but he does love me like a son.”

Castiel nodded. “Is there anyone else you have to turn to?”

“I… Ellen, maybe? I don’t know." Sam wasn't used to trying to think of people he could turn to for support. Until now, Dean was the only name that had mattered. "Why do you ask?”

Castiel sighed and looked away. “Because I think I know the nature of your curse. You feel alone, invisible, a burden on those who are willing to be around you. Unless at Stanford, you’ve always had few people to look to for emotional comfort or security. You believe Dean would rather have you gone. You’re uncertain of Bobby and Ellen. And you wouldn’t look to me. You felt as though you should remove yourself from our concern, and now you have. We can forget you, without having to worry about Lucifer.”

“Huh. That’s…” Sam thought it through. “Yeah, that makes sense. So should we leave me this way after all?”

“No!” Castiel turned his gaze back to the hunter. “Sam, I can’t tell you what Dean or Bobby or Ellen are thinking. But I can tell you that you are valued and wanted for more than keeping you away from Lucifer. I know what you think of me, and I deserve it, for the mistakes I made last year.”

“Huh?" What mistakes Castiel had made? He and Cas had never been anything more than occasionally teaming up to help Dean. "No, you’re not the problem, Castiel. I am. Just like I’m the problem with Dean, with Bobby and Ellen. Only difference is I never had your respect or friendship to lose.”

Castiel tilted his head. His eyes suddenly went wide as something occurred to him. “You don’t believe… I should have tried to find you when I learned that you and Dean had gone your separate ways. Sam, last year, when they captured me for reeducation… my regard for Dean wasn’t the problem. It was that they didn’t believe I would do what was necessary to put you where you needed to be. As it is, I hesitated. I was conflicted about releasing your bonds. When I learned the full extent of what we had done to you…”

“Wait, what? Releasing my…” Sam blinked. Then he realized. “The panic room. You let me out. I always figured Ruby had…”

“No, a demon couldn’t have touched you in there. It wasn’t warded against angels, because you and Dean didn’t know you had at least as much to fear from us as you did from the demons.” Castiel looked away again. “You have every right to hate me, Sam. You should hate me for what I’ve done to you. I thought you did, or I would have tried to find you.”

“Why? I’m still…”

“Don’t say it. Please. I never should have.”

It took a moment for Sam to recover from the amount of pain in Castiel's voice as he admitted that. “But it is…”

“Reductive and far too simplistic a view. It took over a year of a demon’s concerted effort and nearly a year of Heaven’s manipulation to get you where you should have been from the beginning, if that were all there were to you. Uriel thought it was an act, biding your time until the seals had fallen and you and Lilith were ready to make your final play. You truly believed that you were stopping Lilith, stopping Lucifer, not doing their work. I saw that, in what may have been the beginning of your fall. When you came after Alastair. I began to question everything that day.”

“You did? You know that last year…”

“Even at the worst of it, as you killed Lilith, even when your eyes went black. Your intent was good. If it weren’t, your eyes would still be black, you would have already said yes to Lucifer. I have as much faith in you holding out as I do in Dean." Castiel paused. "Actually, I have more faith in you. I know you’re concerned about having been weak and fallen once. No one’s lying to you now. No one’s telling you that saying yes to Lucifer is the right thing to do. And having fallen once, you have a determination not to make that mistake again that Dean doesn’t quite understand.”

“You have a lot more faith in me than I do,” Sam said, voice cracking a little as he realized just how wrong he’d been about the angel's opinion of him.


	3. Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's visible again, but the underlying problems are still there. Castiel proposes a solution.

The door banged open, and Dean came in. “What’ve you… oh. Hey, Sam. Welcome back to the land of the visible.”

Sam looked at Cas. “You can see me again?”

Castiel nodded. “I can. I’m not sure when that happened, but it seems you overcame the curse.”

“Huh. Good to know.” He looked over to Dean. “Glad we’ve got this straightened out. Go celebrate, I can walk.”

“Wait.” Two heads swiveled to look at Castiel. “Dean, Sam said he told you about the curse when you killed the witch. Why were you not more careful?”

“Witch was dead, spells usually end when that happens so I figured it didn’t matter,” Dean mumbled. “Besides, Sam seemed okay. Didn’t know it could’ve been delayed.”

“Cas, it’s fine. Besides, he’s right… she was dead and I was all right. Or seemed to be.”

“And you spent hours under a curse because you and he didn’t follow your instinct and at least check on things. I fail to see how that is ‘okay’ and why you should accept it.”

“I could’ve investigated on my own and I didn’t,” Sam said. “Especially once I realized the curse actually had done something to me, I could have come back here and started looking for the spellbook or something. Hell, I could have prayed to you.”

“It’s still unreliable and possibly monitored.”

“I could have texted, for that matter. Didn’t even think to try,” Sam said, suddenly feeling rather foolish.

"It could be part of the curse, especially given the nature of it,” Castiel said.

Dean looked between them. “What nature?”

“Sam felt as though he was unwanted and that it would be better if he could disappear without you having to worry about Lucifer. So he did,” Castiel said before Sam could come up with a good lie to tell.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Great. So this is my fault.”

“As much mine,” Castiel said. He narrowed his eyes. “At least with me, he was wrong. You seem determined to be an ass. Are you trying to drive him to Lucifer?”

“No, Cas, I’m trying to keep him away from Lucifer,” Dean said in the tones one might use with a toddler. “You aren’t that stupid.”

Castiel’s expression didn’t change. “Given the choice between someone who gave every indication that he wishes you would go away and that he has no use for you, and someone who gave every indication that he valued you and wished you around, whose company would you rather keep?”

"When going to the nice guy means ending the world? I’d stick with the asshole.” Dean looked a little shaken, though.

Sam tried again to stop this fight. “Cas… it’s fine. I can deal. Dean’s absolutely right. I’m not going to Lucifer no matter how bad things are here, especially not now. As long as he’s willing to hunt with me, I’m…”

“Is he? He listens to you when you tell him you’re not sure a hunt is over?” Castiel asked, still without turning his glare away from Dean.

“That’s…” Sam sputtered. He didn’t have a good answer for that. Dean didn’t either, apparently, as he turned and stormed out. Sam sighed. “Castiel, I appreciate you trying, but this isn’t something Dean can just get over. I chose a demon over him.”

“Yes. After being manipulated, fed demon blood. You chose a demon who listened to you and at least let you feel like you were in control over a brother who treated you like a child. And he won’t at least try to change the part of that he can.” Castiel headed for the door, Sam at his heels. “Dean. I need you to listen to an idea.”

“If it’s some way I can magically forgive Sam, it ain’t happening,” Dean said. “I’m trying, but it’s gonna be a process, and I can’t make any promises.”

“There is no way for you to magically forgive Sam,” Castiel said, and Sam nodded. “One day, hopefully sooner rather than later, you will remember that he is your brother and how much that means to you, and suddenly this won’t seem as important as it does now. But as I said, I have an idea.”

“What?”

“You and Sam are currently riding together because you feel like you need to watch out for him, to keep him from falling to Lucifer, correct?” Dean nodded. Castiel turned to Sam. “Sam, you are one of the best I’ve ever seen at sorting through lore and news articles and rumors to figure out what’s worth following up on and what isn’t. I don’t know how to use the Internet very well. I would like you to come with me and help me search for God, if you’re willing.”

“Cas… I would be incredibly honored, but wouldn’t I hold you back? I mean, I’m human, I need to sleep and I don’t speak very many languages…”

“I can teach you the languages as they come up, and if you promise to remind me if I’ve forgotten to stop for you to sleep or eat or take care of other human needs, I don’t mind working around them. Dean, do you trust me to keep Sam out of Lucifer’s clutches?”

Dean looked a little gobsmacked. “I… yeah, if anyone can, it’s you, but…”

“Then you don’t have to have Sam around while you’re trying to work through your anger but don’t have to fear him falling, Sam is around someone who wants him there and visiting places he’s never been, and I have a companion with me as I work who can help me with the things I don’t know,” Castiel said. “Which seems like we all benefit. I will bring him back when you’re truly ready for him to return.”

“Sam? If you wanna go…” Dean said hesitantly.

Sam looked between Dean and Cas. He really seemed to be struggling with the decision, and Cas reminded himself sternly that it almost certainly had nothing to do with him. That it was Sam not wanting to be a burden and his love for his brother. Still, it was a great relief when Sam finally said, “Cas is right, we all benefit from this, if he’s willing to put up with me being human. Thank you, Cas.”

“Have fun, Sam,” Dean said. “Check in every once in a while, let me know you’re okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” Sam said. “Cas, I’m ready whenever you are.”

Cas reached out, putting a hand on Sam’s arm and flying him to the motel room. Sam collected his belongings and wrote a quick note to Dean. “Where are we off to first?”

“Jerusalem. It’s a good place to listen for rumors and research. They speak English in Israel, but it would probably be beneficial for you to learn Hebrew anyway, if I may?”

“Sure, I’d love to learn Hebrew,” Sam said. “Should be helpful with research too, right?”

“Yes.” Castiel reached forward, touching two fingers to Sam’s forehead.


	4. Ritual in Poland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stop on Cas and Sam's travels.

Research led them to northern Poland, where Sam realized there was going to be a problem. They needed to be here for a full twenty-four hours, which meant Sam would need to sleep. It wasn’t that sleeping outside bothered him. The first couple of days, Castiel had insisted on finding Sam a bed, but after the first time Sam had convinced him to stay where they were, Sam had ended up sleeping outside more often than not. He liked it – falling asleep looking at the stars, or clouds, was relaxing.

The problem was, they’d usually been in warm places. Northern Poland was cold this time of year. Usually when the weather was bad, Cas would be good about finding shelter, but this time, they couldn’t.

“Sam.” Castiel’s voice cut into Sam’s thoughts. “What do we do? You can’t sleep out in the open here.”

“But you can’t leave to take me somewhere, not once we get started,” Sam said. “So either you take me somewhere and leave me there until you’re done here, which I would be okay with, or I stay awake the whole time. I’m a hunter, I’m used to long periods with no sleep.”

“There is another option,” Castiel said, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I could use my wings to protect you from the cold. Of course, that would require you to sleep very close to me. The choice is yours, since you’re the one affected.”

“Are you okay with that? You look a little…” Sam started.

Cas waved him off. “I would not have mentioned it if I had a problem with the idea. If I were the one choosing, I would choose to use my wings.”

“Really?” Sam was rather surprised by that. “If you’re okay with it, then I’m willing. Just because I can stay up all night doesn’t mean I want to, but at least I’d be here with you.”

Castiel actually relaxed a little. “Very well. When you’re ready to sleep, let me know. We have sufficient food?”

“Yeah, we’re good, let’s get this ritual started,” Sam said. He knelt and set up the salt circle while Castiel readied the wood. The chant was a mixture of Polish, Latin, Greek, and Hebrew, which made Sam smile when he realized he could follow completely. He tossed the herbs in at the appropriate times, and sat back when Castiel finished.

“Now we wait,” Castiel said as he sat back. “And pray, if you feel the desire.”

Sam laughed. He’d suggested it once, as a joke, and Castiel had run with it. It hadn’t ever worked, but they rarely did get much in the way of results. “So obviously if we get something useful here, we follow up on it. If we don’t, where next?”

“I don’t know,” Castiel said. “There’s that tip in Ethiopia, but I still find the source questionable at best. I’ve been avoiding returning to Rome, but we should probably go.”

“I’d love to see Rome,” Sam said. “I’m not sure about Ethiopia either, but if you’re trying to avoid Rome, it’s somewhere to go. Why are you ducking Rome?”

Castiel bit his lip and looked away. “No one alive would remember, so it most likely would not be a problem, but technically I am barred from entering the city. It’s sort of Gabriel’s fault, I ran into some friends of his who caused a bit of a scene, and when angels get into a fight with pagan gods, it usually doesn’t go well for their general vicinity.”

“Gabriel? Like the archangel Gabriel?" Cas nodded. "The archangel Gabriel was friends with pagan gods?”

“It’s… complicated. In a way, Gabriel is a pagan god. One of the names he used here on Earth was Loki,” Cas said, and Sam stared at him in disbelief. “The gods didn’t know Gabriel was an archangel, so when my brothers and I came to visit, he introduced us as his children by Anna. They knew me as Ranulf.”

“Wow. Gabriel was Loki? Gabriel sounds like a fun guy,” Sam said.

Castiel looked at him quizzically. “You’ve met him. You don’t like him much, as I understand it. Given what he did to Dean those Tuesdays, I can’t blame you.”

“Tuesdays… wait, the Trickster?” Sam’s brain started racing. “Gabriel is the Trickster we keep running into? I guess if he was Loki, that makes sense. Why’s he being a Trickster on Earth instead of an archangel in Heaven?”

Castiel shrugged. “He doesn’t much like angels, and he loves humans even more than I do. When God left Heaven to be run by the angels, Gabriel took off and refused to come back. Michael and Raphael probably could have forced the issue, but they never did. Quite possibly because if he knew they intended to start the Apocalypse he would have worked against them from the beginning, and an archangel would have had the power to smite Lilith the second she set foot outside of Hell.”

“Maybe we should be looking for him. If anyone on Earth has the power to stop Lucifer, it’d be him, right?”

“Unless we find God, yes, Gabriel would have the best chance. But Gabriel tried so often to stop Michael and Lucifer from fighting back in the old days, before Lucifer’s exile and later confinement to the cage, and failed. I don’t see why he’d have much influence over them now, and I can’t imagine he has any desire to fail yet again to corral his brothers.”

“But if he likes humans, and Earth, maybe he’d be willing to try?”

“It’s worth trying. If nothing else, he might have some thoughts on where to look for God.” Castiel looked over to Sam. “How are you doing?”

“It’s not too cold yet. Getting a little tired, though. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to sleep.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant how are you? It’s been three weeks since we left Dean. Would you like to go visit him, let him know that we’re okay and reassure yourself that he is?”

“We probably should. Go by Bobby’s, say hi, call Dean from there if he’s out on a hunt.” Sam shivered a little and moved toward Castiel. “Is it bad that I’m kind of hoping he’s not ready for me to come home yet?”

“Probably, but I’m hoping the same thing. It’s selfish, I know. I’m going to miss you a great deal when you’re back with your brother. But you and Dean belong at each other’s side, when you’re ready to be there.”

Sam curled his legs up. The wind was picking up and as tough as Sam was, he was not dressed for this. He felt something warm come around him, and glanced down. It took his brain a moment to process what he was seeing – it looked like shadows, but the shadows were made of light somehow. “Is that your wing?”

“You can see it?” Castiel blinked. “Yes. You’re starting to get cold, so I thought it was time.”

Sam scooted closer to Castiel, allowing the wing to wrap around him more securely. “I can see it. Sort of. It’s easier if I don’t try to look directly at it, but it’s definitely there.”

“Interesting. That’s unusual, especially given that you can’t withstand my true voice without pain.” Castiel began humming, and then singing very quietly in a language Sam couldn't understand. The melody was nice, though, and the low rumble of Castiel's voice soon had Sam drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was going to be Estonia, but I moved it to Poland. For reasons. >.>


	5. Early Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam wakes up. He's warm and safe and Castiel is cuddling him. It's nice.

When Sam woke up, it took him a minute to work out where he was. He was warm, although he could feel the cold ground underneath him. And he was being held by someone very strong. He closed his eyes again and snuggled in, but then his eyes flew open. “Cas?”

“Good morning, Sam.” Castiel made no move to let Sam up.

Sam still tried to stretch. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Six hours, approximately." Sam tried to sit up, but Castiel held him down. "Go back to sleep, if you can. I’ll wake you if God shows up, but otherwise, there’s no need for you to be awake.”

“You’ll wake me?”

“Of course. You want to meet God, don’t you?”

Sam laughed. How weird was his life that worrying about being woken up to meet God was something he was actually talking about? “Of course I do. I just don’t…”

“You deserve to meet him. If after everything you’ve been through, you still have faith? You deserve to have your faith rewarded.” Castiel stroked Sam’s hair gently. “Sleep, Sam. It’s too cold for me to let you out, still, so you may as well get some more sleep.”

“You’re a good friend, Cas. Thanks." Sam settled back in, and the pressure from Cas lessened. "This isn’t… you’re okay? I know you weren’t exactly completely comfortable offering this.”

“I’m fine, Sam. The discomfort was more out of fear of rejection than anything to do with you. This is a great leap of trust, for an angel, and I’m very happy that you accepted it.”

“If I hadn’t, it wouldn’t be about not trusting you or not being comfortable with you. It would’ve been about not making you uncomfortable.”

“I know. Which is why I’m glad you said yes. It’s okay to prioritize your own preferences once in a while, Sam. I know you’re going out of your way not to need too much, but I really don’t mind. Just having your company has made this hunt so much better, and your assistance has been well worth any hassle.”

“Cas, you don’t…”

“I mean what I’m saying, Sam. I’m… something about you makes me want to take care of you. Not just because I have to. I want to. I know you don’t need someone to look after you, you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself. And that part of your frustration with Dean is that he insists on taking care of you instead of trusting you…”

“Not exactly." Sam thought for a minute about how to clarify his problems with Dean. "More that Dean doesn’t listen to me, doesn’t let me challenge him when he decides something without even talking to me. He puts too much emphasis on the little and not enough on the brother.”

“I see. Angels, naturally, that’s how we’re created. But I’m here because I stopped accepting that. I know the frustration of trying to convince someone that they’re wrong when they’re convinced they’re right.”

Sam smiled. “Trying to convince the bosses to trust Dean?”

“Trying to convince them to trust you.” Castiel stroked Sam’s hair again. “I wanted to be allowed to do more for you, to try to give you an option other than Ruby for someone to trust and to help you adjust to Dean being back, but being different.”

“Guess we know why you weren’t allowed. But you really tried?”

“Zachariah was very close to putting me in my own version of Sandover, to remind me of the necessity of obedience. When I told Dean why I couldn’t help him save you from Lilith, Naomi brought me in for questioning and reeducation. I knew it would happen, but I couldn’t let you fall.”

“I never knew that. If I had… you would’ve been able to see me through the spell, I think. I was so wrong about you.”

“No more wrong than I was about you when we first met.”

“Cas, you…”

“I was wrong, Sam. All the excuses in the world won’t change that fact. I’m just glad you’ve allowed me the chance to set things right. You are a very forgiving person.”

“Yeah, well… if I have any hope of being forgiven, I figure it begins with forgiving the people who have hurt me.”

“I can tell you it’s working at least in my case. You’re forgiven, Sam.”

“Yeah, well. You’re an angel. Forgiveness… never mind. You’re a real angel, not a fairy tale angel.” Sam shifted a little, bringing him microscopically closer to Castiel. “But you’re real, and you’re here. So those are points in your favor.”

“Do you wish we were still fairy tales, Sam?”

“Nah. I mean, sure, it’d be nice to still be able to believe in those angels, but then you wouldn’t be here keeping me warm with your wings. I’m definitely happier this way. You’re so amazing, Cas. And I love you for all of this.”

Castiel’s wings seemed to fold in a little tighter around him, and Sam reached a hand up to brush over the soft black feathers. “I don’t know if you meant it this way, Sam, but I love you. I know, when we’re done here, we’re going to see Dean, and I hope he’s realized he needs you more than you hurt him. But I’ll be checking in as often as I can, and if things get bad with Dean again, you’re always welcome to come along.”

“You love me? Like a brother?” Sam tried to keep the hope in check.

“No. Like… I don’t know how to describe it. It’s not something I ever felt as an angel. Like having you here in my wings like this is everything I could ever have imagined, when I fell.”

“Oh.” Sam twisted around so he could face Cas instead of looking up at him. “Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes, if you would allow it, but if you won’t I will respect…”

Sam cut Castiel off with a kiss. “That is how I meant it. I know this search is important, but I’m gonna miss you, too.”

Castiel smiled. “Good. Go back to sleep.” This time, Sam settled back under the soft wings and let himself drift away again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! Sorry about that delay.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas takes Sam home to visit Dean. It could've gone better, but it could've gone a lot worse, too.

The ritual proved pointless, so Castiel took them back to Sioux Falls. Bobby was very glad to see them. “The hell’s going on? You’re with Dean, you’re not with Dean, you’re with Dean again, you’re not with Dean again. I’m confused as all getout.”

Sam ducked his head. “Sorry for confusing you, Bobby. I need looking after, thanks to Lucifer, but Dean and I had trouble working together. So I went off with Cas instead. How’s Dean doing?”

“He’s an idjit. Just like you. You wanna talk to him, he’s out back fixin’ up the Impala.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” Sam headed out back to find Dean. There were a few empty beer bottles lying around and another half-full one in Dean’s hand. Whatever the repairs were, they were clearly done.

Dean scowled a little when he caught sight of Sam. “Thought you were gonna stay away till I called and said I was ready.”

“Cas can take me anywhere. I wanted to see how you were doing." Sam pointed to the Impala, where the paint was still a little scratched. "What’d you do to the car?”

Dean scowled. “I didn’t do anything! Was out on a hunt, and this guy jumped in front of the car. Werewolf who’d just realized what he’d become and was trying to kill himself. So I did it for him since I knew how to actually do it without hurting innocent cars.”

“Huh." Sam headed over to put a hand on the hood of the car. Angel Air was nice, but the Impala was home. "How are things going with the Apocalypse? Any great ideas on how to gank Satan yet?”

“Nope. Bobby’s got a few things he’s working on, but in the meantime, I’m just… hunting. Watching my back." Dean fell silent as he looked closely at one of the scratches. He didn't take his eyes off of the car as he spoke again. "Ran into Tim and Reggie, apparently Steve’s dead?”

Sam swallowed. He didn't want to talk about this, not with Dean barely trusting him as it was. “Yeah, there was a demon hunt in Oklahoma. They were pissed, tried to juice me up with demon blood, but I resisted.”

Dean's eyes shot to Sam's. “And you didn’t tell me about this because?”

Sam turned away and rolled his eyes. “You already have a hard enough time trusting me, how am I supposed to tell you that oh by the way there’s some hunters out there who know how to supercharge me and might try?”

“By leading with the fact that you resisted!" Dean deflated and looked back to the car. "How much did you drink?”

“I didn’t," Sam whispered. "I wanted to, god I wanted to swallow, but I didn't. I spat it back at them instead.”

“See? That helps, knowing that you can say no with that temptation right in front of you.” Dean took a swig of beer. “How’s the search for God going?”

“Nothing yet. I think we’re spending the night here and then heading for another lead. Or heading to Rome to find leads." Sam offered a grin. "Either way, a lot warmer than freakin’ Poland.”

“You were in Poland? What for?”

“Looking for God.” Sam turned to lean against the Impala. While they were talking about things, this was probably as good a time as there'd ever be to tell Dean. “Didn’t find God, but found something else. That you should probably know about.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Cas. He…”

“I didn’t know he was lost,” Dean interrupted.

Sam shot Dean a bitchface. “He wasn’t. It’s just… over the last three weeks we’ve gotten a lot closer.”

Dean snorted. “No kidding. Before you left, the two of you barely spoke to each other. So you’re friends now? That’s good.”

“Not…” Sam cut himself off with a huff. “Well, yes, but it’s not just that. It’s still developing, I don’t know what it’s gonna become, but it’s more than just friendship. We’re kind of…”

Dean held up a hand. “Just stop. I am not drunk enough to hear that my brother is hooking up with an angel.”

“You kicked me out of the Impala so you could hook up with an angel,” Sam reminded Dean.

“Anna wasn’t an angel at the time! She was human. And that was a one-time thing, not…" Dean trailed off, staring at Sam. "What about Jimmy?”

“He’s gone. Reaped when Cas died.” One of the things they'd talked about while waiting for God.

“Great. So…” Dean took another, longer pull of beer. “So you and Cas, huh?”

“Like I said, it’s still in really early stages, but yeah. Me and Cas.”

Dean walked away to set his now-empty bottle with the others. “So even if I did want you to come home, you wouldn’t want to?” he asked without looking back.

Sam gave Dean an incredulous look. How could Dean ever think that? “I want to come home, Dean. I’m not gonna lie, I’m having a great time out there with Cas, but when you’re ready for me to come back, I’m coming back. I mean it.”

“Good.” Dean started collecting bottles. “I’m headed for bed. If I don’t see you before you leave tomorrow… you keep safe out there. I don’t want you coming back wounded.”


	7. Alliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean reaches out to Cas and Sam for help with a case. The case ends up straining Cas and Sam's relationship due to differences in how to handle it.

Rome was beautiful, and no one questioned Castiel’s presence in the city. Sam and Castiel searched for leads to God, of course, but they also took some time to check out some of the city’s history, too. From there, they kept traveling… Ethiopia, England, a trip to New Orleans where Sam ran into a bit of language trouble. Cas had taught him French, of course. But what they spoke in New Orleans didn’t really match up with French as he spoke it.

They were back in Jerusalem when Cas’s phone rang. Castiel answered it, and Sam crowded in to listen. “Dean? What do you need?”

“I got a case, could really use some help. Things are super weird here. Thought maybe you and Sam could come help me out.”

Cas and Sam exchanged a quick glance. “We’ll be there. Where are you?”

“Alliance, Nebraska.” Dean gave the address for the motel, and Castiel took Sam’s hand and flew them there. “Hey. So this is weird. Got a girl who scratched her brains out when a kid put itching powder on her comb, guy killed by a joy buzzer, a guy had his teeth pulled out by the Tooth Fairy, kids got ulcers from Pop Rocks and Cokes. Thought it might be a Trickster, but no luck.”

Sam looked over to Cas. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s someone here. Demon spawn. Cambion.” Castiel paused a moment. “The Anti-Christ.”

Sam blinked. “Lucifer’s son? That’s real?” Cas kept saying the Bible got more wrong than right, and that had sounded so unbelievable he'd assumed it was in the wrong pile.

Castiel shook his head. “He’s not Lucifer’s son. Just a regular demon. I’m not entirely clear on the process to create him, but it would have seemed to be a virgin birth.”

“Okay, so… how do we find this Anti-Christ?” Dean asked.

“I can feel him. We have to destroy him. He’s one of Lucifer’s most powerful weapons, and when the demons find him… he may be responsible for the odd deaths here. Intentionally or otherwise. When Lucifer gets hold of him, he’ll train him, teach him to direct his powers. And then, with a word, the Antichrist will destroy the Host of Heaven.”

“Wait a minute. He’s gonna nuke the angels?”

“Yes, exactly. I can’t allow that.”

“Cas, wait.” Sam shook his head, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. “The Anti-Christ appears during the Apocalypse. Are we looking for a baby?”

“I hope not. It can’t be ruled out. The Anti-Christ could be any age. There are other cambion out there. The Anti-Christ’s powers are what appears during the Apocalypse. It probably started slowly, and has grown in power.”

“So we’re looking for a kid,” Dean said. “We hope. Because if he’s doing this intentionally he’ll be a lot harder to beat.”

“And all these things… they’re a kid’s beliefs. Great.” Sam felt sick. He could not stomach the idea of killing a kid who hadn’t done anything wrong intentionally. “Look, are you sure we have to kill him? Can’t we just tell him the truth about what’s going on, and trust that he makes the right decision?”

Cas stepped close to Sam and stared him down. “You didn’t.”

Tears filled Sam’s eyes, but he could deal with the hurt later. Right now, there was a potential kid for him to save. “If anyone had ever told me that killing Lilith would start the Apocalypse, I might have. When I killed Lilith, I’d been told – by Heaven and Hell both – that killing Lilith would stop things. We’re telling him the truth.”

“It doesn’t…”

“It does matter. I got lied to, manipulated, don’t you dare tell me that if your side had actually wanted to stop the Apocalypse they wouldn’t have taken me out. Dean too if that’s what it took to keep me dead. Doesn’t matter how many seals are broken if Lucifer doesn’t have a vessel to go into. If we find out that the Anti-Christ knows what he’s doing and is using it to kill and torture people, fine, I’ll kill him myself. But an innocent kid? I’m not doing that.”

“And if he doesn’t choose to do the right thing? If the demons find him, and the angels are nuked? Those are my brothers. My family. I can’t take that risk.”

Both of them looked to Dean. Dean looked between them. “How do we keep the demons from finding him?”

Sam sighed. “I don’t know. If he doesn’t use his powers, that should make it easier, right? And we just have to keep him hidden until we figure out how to gank the devil. Apocalypse over, his powers should disappear?”

“That’s a lot of maybes and shoulds, Sammy,” Dean said. He thought for a minute, then nodded. “Okay. Cas, don’t let him see you when we go in there. We’ll give Sam a chance to talk. You’re insurance, and we’ll be distracting him so he can’t use his mojo on you.”

Cas disappeared, and Dean rolled his eyes. “Great. Now we gotta track him down…”

“I found him.” Castiel reappeared and reported the address. “He didn’t see me.”

“So…”

“An eleven-year-old boy. He is unaware of what he’s doing.” Castiel met Sam’s eyes. “I hope this works. Once he’s aware of his powers, he’ll be able to make himself invisible to angels. I won’t be able to find him again.”

Sam swallowed. Was he putting too much faith in this boy? If he was wrong… if the kid took out the angels… even if Cas survived, Sam would lose him. “Okay, just throwing this out… is there any way we could point him at Lucifer and get a selective nuke? You said he’d wipe out the host of Heaven, wouldn’t that include Michael and Raphael?”

Castiel shook his head. “Lucifer is immune. Even he’s not stupid enough to set off a nuke that would take him with it. His grace is tainted from his millennia in Hell, and that means he can’t be touched by the Anti-Christ.”

“Okay. Let’s go talk to the kid.” Sam headed for the Impala, Dean at his heels. Cas got in the backseat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaNo is over! 80k+ word novel draft in 29 days. Then a couple days to recover, and now I am back to finish this up!


	8. Meeting the Anti-Christ

The drive to the house was tense, Sam not wanting to talk, Cas apparently not either, and Dean caught in the middle of the tension. Cas went invisible as they pulled into the drive, and Sam breathed a little easier.

The kid answered the door quickly. “Hello?”

“Hi. What’s your name?” Dean said.

“Jesse Turner. Who are you?”

Sam and Dean exchanged a quick glance. “I’m Sam, he’s my brother Dean. We need to talk to you.”

“My mom and dad don’t like me talking to strangers.” Jesse went to close the door.

Dean got a foot in the way. “Well, they’re right, usually. But see, this is a matter of life and death. People are gonna die if you don’t talk to us.”

“Really?” Jesse looked unsure about that.

Didn’t help when a woman showed up behind Jesse. “Well, I don’t know about people. But a person’s going to. They’ve got a plan to kill you if you won’t listen.” Her eyes flicked black, and Dean reached for his gun.

Sam held out his hands. “Jesse. We don’t want to kill you. Just to talk.”

Jesse looked back and forth. He’d started trembling a little when the demon’s eyes went black, and he backed up against a wall. Sam took advantage to come inside. “Stay back! You wanted to talk to me? Talk!”

“Okay. This is going to sound crazy, but right now, we’re in the middle of the Apocalypse. Do you know what that is?”

Jesse shook his head, but said, “You mean like the Bible? End of days?”

“Yeah. And my brother and me, we’re trying to stop it.” Sam squatted to look Jesse in the eyes. “And you’re a part of it.”

“How?”

“You have powers. The demons, Lucifer’s minions, like her… they’re going to try to make you use them. Starting with people, but then, later, if the demons get their way… you’ll take out the angels. All of them.”

“That’s… I don’t have powers! I’m just a kid!”

Dean glanced at Sam. “Jean Grey was four years old when her powers developed.”

“That’s true.” Jesse looked over at the demon. “Is that true? You want to make me kill people?”

“We want to help you develop your powers, that’s all. What you do with them is up to you.” The demon looked over at Sam and Dean, murder in her eyes. “You don’t have to kill anyone if you don’t want to.”

“Jesse, did you hear about the girl who scratched her brains out?” Dean asked. Jesse nodded. “What about the guy who died from a joy buzzer?” Jesse nodded again. “Joy buzzers don’t kill people. They’re just toys.” He pulled the joy buzzer out from his pocket and hit Sam with it. “See?”

Jesse jumped a little, but when Sam was fine, he shrank. “Oh.”

Sam glared at Dean, but then caught on. “Jesse, that guy who died… he died because you believed in joy buzzers. Same with the girl… itching powder’s irritating, but people don’t die from it. If you can do that without being trained, just think what you’d do during training and afterwards.”

“So I’ve already killed people?”

“No. No, you didn’t know, and those deaths were accidents. They were terrible, but not your fault.”

“But what should I do? If I go with the demons, wouldn’t I at least have control over my powers so I don’t accidentally cause more deaths?”

“Demons lie.” Sam looked at Dean again. “This Apocalypse… this is my fault. Because I trusted a demon when she said she was training me to save people. See, I have powers, too.”

“Sammy.” Dean put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and shook his head.

“And it started so well. Ruby taught me how to pull demons out of a host and force them back to Hell, saving the life of the person they’re in.” Sam briefly considered trying, but decided against it for now. “It ended with me killing an innocent woman and freeing Lucifer from his cage.”

“Oh.” Jesse looked over at the demon. “Can you teach me how to pull a demon out of someone?”

“I don’t know if it’ll work the same for you.” Sam thought back to the feeling, tried to find the words to explain. “Look at her. Try to feel the demon inside.” Jesse nodded. “Now stretch out your hand and call the demon to you.”

Jesse’s hand came up, and the demon screamed. “He’s lying! They’re going to kill… there’s an angel here! Their assassin!”

Jesse just pulled harder, and the black smoke came out. “Now what?”

“Now you push it away. Down. Think about Hell, what you know about it, and keep pushing.”

Jesse turned his hand and pushed, and the black smoke vanished. Sam couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy that Jesse’s nose wasn’t bleeding, he didn’t seem to have a headache. Would’ve been nice not to have to deal with the side effects. Dean went to check on the host, and Jesse turned back to Sam. “Do you really have an angel assassin?”

“Not exactly.” Castiel made himself visible. “I am an angel, and if their plan had failed I would have killed you, but I’m here over their protests instead of at their command.”

Jesse nodded. Then he disappeared. Sam and Dean looked to Cas. Cas shrugged. “I assume he’s gone into hiding. Where, I don’t know. Like I said, I can’t find him again.”

“Great.” Dean headed for the Impala, Sam and Cas following. When they got to the car, Dean turned to look at them. “So what happens now?”

Sam swallowed. “You gave me a chance.”

“Yeah. Personally, I agreed with Cas. Not that I give a crap about the angels, except for him, but figured killing him was the safest thing.”

“Sam, I’m sorry.” Sam turned to look at Cas. “You were right. Your choice was made based on lies, not the truth. Ruby’s, Heaven’s, mine. I hope you were listening to yourself as well. The guilt you carry over starting the Apocalypse, it’s not all yours to bear.”

“Yours? Separate from Heaven? Thought you got lied to all along,” Dean said before Sam could process.

“True. I never lied directly to Sam. I told him Heaven’s lies as truth, but I believed them as well. I did lie to you. After my reeducation, when Sam was in his detox. When…”

“When you made me swear my service to Heaven, and you told me that if I did, Sammy didn’t have to.” Dean’s fists clenched. “You knew everything then?”

“Yes. I knew everything… except how Zachariah had manipulated Sam, using the voice mail you left him. That’s what changed my mind. Your words made me think that maybe the world was worth saving, and hearing what Sam heard, that made me think that serving Heaven was no longer righteous, no longer just. No longer any better than serving Lucifer.”

Sam straightened up a little, forehead crinkling. “Dean calling me a freak and wanting to kill me made you think the world was worth saving?”

“What the hell, Sam? I never said that!”

“That would be what you heard, Sam. It’s not at all what Dean said. Zachariah’s manipulation.” Castiel looked between them. “You didn’t know about that? The changed voicemail?”

“No…” Sam wiped away the tears. “I never mentioned the voicemail because… well, you saw how much trouble Dean was having with me. Reminding him that he wanted to kill me didn’t seem like a good idea.”

“And I sure as hell wasn’t gonna bring it up.” Dean shook his head. “So… again. What happens now? I’m going back to Bobby’s, figure Cas is back out on his search. Sammy?”

Sam shoved his hands in his pockets. “Do I actually have a choice here? I don’t trust myself off on my own. Isolation’s bad for me.”

“I called you in on this, Sam. I gave you a chance to save the kid. And you did.” Dean caught Sam’s eyes. “I’m still pissed, and I can’t promise it’ll be like it was before, but if you wanna come home… I can work with you. Trust you to have my back. If you swear that you’ll tell me if you start having Lucifer issues like you did in Oklahoma.”

“Cas?”

“Of course you’re welcome to come with me, if that’s what you want. But I understand if you would rather be with your brother, or you’re too upset with me for hurting you here.”

Sam leaned on the Impala, arms crossed at the wrist on the top. He did want to go back to Dean, and he was hurt by Castiel’s words. But Dean didn’t sound fully ready to work with Sam again, and he could understand where Castiel was coming from and forgive him. It was a tough call.

“I’m gonna go with Dean, see if things are fixed enough between us that this is gonna work this time,” he eventually decided. He went to Cas and hugged him. “Thank you so much, for everything. This isn’t about getting away from you. I love you, Cas.”

Cas lifted his arms to return the hug. “I love you too. Call me any time you want to see me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably one more chapter after this one.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam reaches out, and Team Free Will reunites, ready to face down whatever Lucifer throws at them.
> 
> Or possibly just watch movies. At least for the night.

Being back with Dean was… well. It was good, of course. The passenger seat of the Impala, with Dean just to his left, is where Sam felt most at home. Dean was no longer radiating mistrust and anger, but it wasn’t back to the inseparable unquestioned bond they’d had before.

A couple days after Cas had left, Sam pulled out his phone. He wanted to call Cas, but he didn’t know what to say to him. He wasn’t going to apologize for not calling. The longer he put it off, though, the more likely the first thing out of his mouth would be just that. He slipped the phone back into his pocket when he saw Dean approaching with dinner.

Dean handed Sam a taco. “How’s Cas?”

“Haven’t called him yet,” Sam admitted as he unwrapped the taco. “What do I even say?”

“Hi, how’s the search going, got any ideas you want to bounce off me, got anything else you want to bounce off me?” Dean waggled his eyebrows. “If you’re ready to see him, ask if he can come for a visit and warn me so I can get my own room. If you’re not, tell him about this case we’re heading to check out tomorrow with the twenty-six year old dead of old age. I thought I taught you how to talk to girls when you were like thirteen!”

“Cas isn’t a girl.” Dean rolled his eyes and glared, but Sam ducked his head with a smile. This almost felt like old times. “And it’s more important to me not to screw it up, because I don’t get to just move on in two weeks and never see him again.”

“You’ll figure it out,” Dean promised. “Just call him. The longer you wait the more awkward it’ll be, and you’re not still so mad you don’t want to talk to him.”

Sam nodded and pulled out his phone. “Cas?”

“Sam!" The delight quickly faded from Cas's voice, replaced by concern. "Are you or Dean in trouble?”

“No, we’re good.” Sam bit back the laughter. “How are you doing? Any good leads on God?”

“Unfortunately, no. I did finally get out to Ethiopia. I’m glad you weren’t there – I ended up walking into a trap. A pair of my brethren were waiting for me and tried to take me to Michael. I had to kill them. I don’t want to know what they would have done to you, had you been with me.”

“Wow. Are you okay?”

“I have an advantage, for now. I’ve gotten accustomed to fighting in a vessel, and there’s no soul in here to hold me back from fighting with everything I’ve got. I’m not seriously hurt.”

“I’m sorry you had to kill them. What are you doing next?”

“For now, I’m laying low, making sure no one’s coming after me for the attack. After that, I don’t know. I picked up a couple things on angel radio that I’d like to check out.”

Sam nodded and stared out the window for a moment. “As long as you’re laying low, want to come visit? Dean and I are heading out on a case in the morning, but we’re not doing anything tonight.”

“Where are you?”

Sam gave him the address of the motel they were headed for, and Dean started driving. They met up with Cas in the parking lot, and settled in for the night. After a brief consultation, they decided against separate rooms – as long as Sam and Cas kept their clothes on, Dean could deal with the rest of it.

Dean found a channel showing old westerns on the TV, and Sam settled back against Castiel to watch. When the shadowy wings came around him, he glanced over at Dean. Dean looked back, but he didn’t seem to notice anything weird.

Castiel’s arms tightened a little around Sam. “You can still see them?” he whispered as quietly as he could, so Dean wouldn’t hear.

Sam raised a hand to brush over one of the shadows. “Yeah. Did you ever figure out what’s going on there?”

“I did.” Castiel shivered a little at the touch. “I very nearly didn’t bring them out. You don’t need the added warmth, here in the motel, and if you could no longer see them, I’m not sure I could have borne it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s… you can see my wings because of our love for each other. The stronger the connection becomes, the easier it will be for you to see them.”

“That explains why Dean can’t see them, why you were so surprised that I could.” Sam cuddled back against Cas. “I was hurt, and angry, but not loving you wasn’t going to happen, Cas.”

“I can see that. And I’m grateful for the forgiveness. I’m so sorry, and I am glad that your plan worked. I’m not sure I’ll ever trust anything I’ve learned about what Heaven considers abominations again, after meeting you and Jesse.”

“I would imagine most of us are probably awful. But we can be better, if we’re given guidance and help in overcoming our blood.”

“Just as angels can overcome their nature as well.”

Dean threw a pillow at them. “I can’t hear what you’re saying, but I’m getting way too many chick flick vibes. Clint Eastwood! This is a chick-flick-free room!”

Sam glanced at the screen. "It's one of the monkey movies. You have fun. I'm going to sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done! Thanks for reading, kudoing, and commenting!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always welcome!


End file.
